Written By Matthew Meichle
Remember going to the movies when you were younger, and you couldn’t wait to see all the awesome stories, the cool effects, and the great acting? Well those days are over, now Hollywood has lost it’s way. They have lost their imagination and nothing is original anymore. Everything out there is a remake, or based on a book or a video game. (Video games should never be made into movies, they all suck! And Uwe Boll is the biggest offender.)
I will admit, some of the books that make their way on to the big screen are good; “Bridge to Terabithia” was a very well done and very sad movie. However, Hollywood, stop it right fucking now! Battleship?? Really??? Was this move necessary??? And it’s based on a fucking board game, WTF! What’s next, “Scrabble the Movie” or “My Life with Jenga”? It is out of control. They are even remaking foreign movies: they remade one of my favorite films from Sweden, “Let the Right One In”.
Please, for the love of God, stop this accursed defacing of great movies. Here is a good example: we all know and love Godzilla, right? A giant lizard born of the nuclear age who wreaks havoc all over Tokyo. I mean, these movies were classic, a guy dressed up in a rubber suit stepping on models, epic. Then here comes Hollywood with all their money and lack of integrity, and decides “hey, let’s take an awesome series and just shit all over it, and we will cast Matthew Broderick and Jean Reno” (don’t get me wrong, Jean Reno is a great actor, but I think he just wanted some easy money). This movie sucked on so many levels, horrible plot, shitty effects, bad acting, and the list goes on. Hollywood continues to remake everything, and it is starting to get really bad. I am a huge Alien fan, even though I hate James Cameron (this is an entry for another day) Aliens was a fun an exciting movie. However, along comes Prometheus, which caught my attention, but now I am not so sure because my friend saw it and said the effects were awesome but the story was a little weak. This is why I love animation; Pixar, they always have the greatest movies and are ORIGINAL. But somewhere down the line, Hollywood will remake these awesome animated movies and turn them into train wrecks. You laugh now, but just wait until “Cars: The live action movie” hits theaters near you.
I must come clean and admit that some remakes are really good; I really enjoyed Robert De Niros’ remake of Robert Mitchum’s and Gregory Peck’s classic “Cape Fear”, so I am in a way a hypocrite. But to justify my rant, come on Hollywood! You can do all the remakes you like, but please level the playing field and split the difference. I know for a fact that there are a lot of talented people out there with great ideas that are just sitting on a shelf collecting dust. Here is one, for you. A misguided youth gets hit in the head by a donkey and loses his sight, but instead of just giving into his lost vision he studies hard and eventually runs for President and wins. OK, probably not Oscar worthy; but hey, I haven’t seen that movie yet or read a book like it, and I am also pretty sure it is not a video game.